Saturday, January 5, 2013

How I wooed him in.

As most folks know, Mr. P and I met on Facebook. But it was not the online dating experience one might expect. 

He was FB friends with my ex husband's cousin. They went to prom together back in the days when everyone was skinny and he had a giant high school porn star mustache. I've seen the pictures. She looked stoned and he had a protruding adam's apple and bad posture. 

He added me because I made him laugh. I imagine he spent all day, as a stay at home dad, online waiting for pics of her to pop up so that he could read our commentaries. Knowing this made me want to delve into the past and find his first comments. Back when he called me "she" (because he was posting on my pics that Cousin was tagged in). Back to the beginning of how we met. Mr. P and me, and apparently, we started with a duckface....

Comments on this picture, July 1, 2009:
Me: I would prefer to be Latoya.  

Cousin: I've always been Penny therefore I am Janet. 
Me: Ms. Jackson ( I'm nasty) 
Cousin: Nasty pretty much sums us up. 
Me: yep. 
Cousin: 'tonite, I'm livin in a fantasy, my own little nasty world, tonite, dontcha wanna come w me, do u think I'm a nasty girl!' 
Me: Who's that thinkin' nasty thoughts? 
Cousin:who's dancin 2 my nasty groove?! 
Cousin: I hate u. U r photogenic. I have 2 b appreciated in person. good thing I dnt need 2 do any internet dating! 
Me: No my first name ain't baby... 
Cousin: ...sittin in the movie show thinkin nasty thoughts. 
Cousin: i was channeling some Vanity 6 earlier. much nastier, more our speed. 
Me: I don't like no nasty car, I don't like a nasty food! 
Me: Hey, what was the hateful comment stuck in there? U r gorgeous! 
Cousin: lol! yeah but i take crappy pics. it was a compliment!! 'hate' meaning 'love'. kinda like how 'no' means 'yes'! 
Me: Right! As long as they're wet!
Cousin: OMG! we r TOTALLY sharing a brain 2day! I was gonna put that in next! I swear! Why did those Drs ever separate us and adopt us out 2 diff families in the first place?? Damn them! Damn them all 2 hell! ...and they took our brother [other fb friend] away as well, which was prob a good thing since he has no reservations about sibling sex.
Me: he's scerry. 
Me: so r we actually related to [ex-husband]? maybe im more like [fb friend] than i want to admit... 
Cousin: no, [ex-husband] was found in the dumpster behind Fraser Ice Arena. That's why he doesn't look like us. [fb friend] is frightening but we are more dangerous. 
Me: oh so its not even weird that he is madly in love with you! 
Cousin: Right! Damn, i was gonna mention that 2. The 'force' is strong btwn us 2nite 

THE ENTRY OF MR. P: 1st of all, very cute pic!!! 2nd,,,,,, reading this, you two need a comedy show!!!! You two ROCK!!!!! Or a reality show, could you emagine???? LOL

Cousin: Yes I could imagine bcz we r funny, but it would have 2 be an internet routine since we are at our funniest online. 
Mr: P: Oh to be fly on the wall!!!! 
Me: i know a web designer.... 
Me: [Cousin], we should set up a website. I'm serious. We will be billionaires. I could finally buy the team of cabana boys I've been saving up for. You could have fried chicken every night. And pay naked men to oil up and mow your lawn. Things would be perfect. 
Me: [Mr.P]r would be our first web customer for sure.

That was it. From that moment he was hooked. He would like all my photos for the next 2 years. He would "laugh his butt off" and give {{hugs}} whenever I was sad. Cousin and I would tease him, calling him "Norman Rockwell" with his statuses about his kids and cleaning and how he loved them, God, his country and fuzzy animals everywhere. I would roll my eyes at "Mr. Perfect."

And tell him to  "stop being so obviously, in love with me."

On August 14, 2011 we met for lunch. Just because we talked so much online we might as well. It wasn't a date. It was a curiosity. It was a whythehecknot. It was a wehavebecomefriends. And I knew. I knew right then and there as I said "hi", I would marry the guy. I didn't know when or how, but I knew I would.

So...Happy birthday Mr. Perfect. I love you and am so glad you thought I was funny! May I always make you laugh.

And the reason I started My Children Think I'm Perfect, to deal with

July 1, 2009:  
Mr. P: She just ruined this pic!!!

 Me: not if u saw the bottom half...

Our first photo together 2011

1 comment:

  1. AWESOME! Gotta love when love at first sight REALLY happens...